Brian McCarthy: Original 1 (2011)

Once again, Brian McCarthy...

Meditation

Finally had my first meditation session. It was really cool I think.

Deepak Chopra: The Soul of Healing Meditation.

At first you just pay attention to your breath and then after that you are requested to think of those who love you and that you love and are grateful for in your life. It is at this point that I started to cry. You know it's just really hard to "accept" love from those that I love so much. It is hard to explain but I was having trouble letting that feeling in of knowing that I am loved by them, in.

Then after that and some more breathing you are asked to think of someone that has hurt you and forgiving them for hurting you and also forgiving yourself for not knowing how to avoid being hurt by them - maybe you were too young or you just trust to much but you have forgive yourself for not having any control over this and forgive the other person as well for not knowing any other way or a better way. They are human too, and need to seek forgiveness of themselves, too. It's a tough one here!! 

After that gets blurry, something about lights and pulses and warmth in the face and hands. I was able to feel my heart beat in my face when I held really still, that was awesome.

Toward the end of the meditation I started to get a big lump "literally" at the base of my neck/throat and it was really feeling thick. Didn't think much of it until the next day when I continued to have this thick lump there and now it is making me cough and I can feel it moving into and from my lungs.

It's just curious to me that this all started during the meditation practice and has continued to progress like maybe I unveiled a hurt that can't get out or maybe I am just sick. Who knows. I don't understand energy that well and I am sure I will be fine. It really WAS a great, relaxing process and even though it was a little tough at first his voice was so calming, and trusting, and loving that I am going to continue to work with my energy through meditation.

May 8, 2011 Mother's Day

I love my kids so much. Look at this beautiful picture that I received from them today. What an amazing surprise! We had breakfast together this morning, went for a drive up to La Connor to see the tulips, played catch at the Anacortes dog park while Maddie played with all the other dogs, and then had a nice movie to end the evening. I am such a lucky mom to have such awesome kids. Love them.